Trash Talkin' Tom's Nemesis PreviewThe list is out weeks before the pre-release.
Clever marketing ploy or desperate attempt to generate interest? You be the
Mercadian Masques II: Revenge of the
Mediocre by Trash Talkin'
WhiteAngelic Fervor 3W, Instant, Uncommmon
If you control
a plains, you may tap an untapped creature you control instead of paying Angelic
Fervor's mana cost. Play this spell only during combat. Put a 4/4 white Angel
creature token with flying into play. Remove the creature from the game at end
No one played Waylay 'till they found a loophole. What makes
them think anyone will play this?
Avenger en-Dal 1W, Creature -
2W T, Discard a card from your hand: Remove target
attacking creature from the game. Its controller gains life equal to its
White players can breathe easy now. An Exile replacement is
here! What? Exile's not gone? Hey, what's going on here?
Lashknife 1W, Enchant Creature, Common
If you control a
plains, you may tap an untapped creature you control without paying its mana
cost. Enchanted creature has first strike.
The outcry for a Lance
replacement was so great WotC finally caved in and printed this. Paying the
alternative casting cost might be problematic, though.
BlueAccumulated Knowledge 1U, Instant, Common
card, then draw cards equal to the number of all Accumulated Knowledge cards in
What, could this be a good card? I feel faint.
Wait, I won't go on. This card has Aether
in the title, so it must suck. It's the law.
Air Bladder U,
Enchant Creature, Common
Enchanted creature gains flying. Enchanted
creature may block only creatures with flying.
Whew! Thank God! I think
the very fabric of space and time will rupture and the Great Sea Anemone will
come and scoop us all up if ever there is a Magic set printed without a creature
enchantment that gives flying. The first impression of the clueless masses was
that this is the worst such enchantment for quite awhile now, but an Esteemed
Elder pointed out the error in such egregiously faulty thinking and illustrated
a couple cases where this card provides MAJOR FREAKIN' BWATDOWN (hyperbole
mine). The exchange ended thus:
"But this card is useless in
"Who plays these cards in constructed?"
Dominate X1UU, Instant, Uncommon
Gain control of target
creature with converted mana cost of X or less. (This spell's effect lasts past
the end of turn.)
Rising Waters 3U,
Land's don't untap during their controllers' untap
steps. At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player untaps a land he or
she (or it) controls.
Ahhh, I understand now, grasshopper. WotC takes
cards out of sets so at some later date, when the tequila runs out, they can
BlackSpineless Thug 1B, Creature - Mercenary 2/2,
Spineless Thug can't block.
There's a joke in here
someplace, but I just can't quite find it. You're on your own here, kids.
Stronghold Discipline 2BB, Sorcery, Common
loses one life for each creature he or she (or it) controls.
RedRed is boring. C'mon, six Flowstone and five Laccolith? Eleven slots
taken by abilities that are marginal in Limited and probably won't see much
Constructed play. Is R&D running out of gas?
GreenFog Patch 1G, Instant, Common
You may play Fog Patch
only during the declare blockers step. All attacking creatures become blocked.
(This spell works on unblockable creatures.)
Finally! A clear, coherent
definition for Fog. I never played Fog or it's many knock-offs simply because I
never understood them. Constant Mists? Not for me, fella! Give me something easy
to understand, like Atom Lasers and 4-Wave Atom Mixers! Or Women!
Refreshing Rain 3G, Instant, Uncommon
If an opponent
controls a swamp and you control a forest, you may play Refreshing Rain without
paying its mana cost. Target player gains 6 life.
Oooh, this hoses
Skyshroud Behemoth 5GGG, Creature - Beast, 10/10,
Fading 2. Skyshroud Behemoth comes into play tapped.
paying seven mana for a 10/10 that only is useful for one turn, and it doesn't
trample? Would it have killed them to give it trample? Why must I Rancor
Stampede Driver G, Creature - Spellshaper,
1G, T, Discard a card from your hand: Creatures you control get
+1/+1 and gain trample until end of turn.
OK, here's the deal: I got a
13/11 tramplin' beast, but only for one turn. It only cost me 11 mana, a card
and a couple of turns. YOU MAKE THE CALL: Am I a beatdown master or a drooling
Ack! Enough of this. That's it, ladies and gentleman; Nemesis,
coming to town near you Feb. 14th. Hopefully Davey J will do another one of his
excellent articles on this set. Lord knows you didn't learn anything from me.
I won't get excited about a CCG until the WWF CCG comes out. Attitude!
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