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Prophecy Exposed!

I'm baaack. Just finished watching the last fifteen minutes of Adventures in Babysitting. My, that Elizabeth Shue is a hottie.

This week, the winds of change are blowin'.

The first wind of ascension is Forger, burning away impurity The second wind of ascension is Reaver, slaying the unworthy The third wind of ascension is Eliminator, clearing Keld's path to victory The fourth wind of ascension is Anointer, deifying the worthy The fifth wind of ascension is Exalter, fulfilling Keld's destiny

-

Keld Triumphant

While I think this is a fine effort at storyline continuity, and kinda cool, I don't think this would score high on the J. Edward Pritchard, Ph.D. scale of poetry. What? You don't get it? Oh, nevermind.

I don't hear enough RIPPING!

Yes, Gentle Reader, I'm Obscure Boy today. But these references can be explained, and your confusion alleviated, if only you'd WRITE ME! C'mon, can it be so hard? I'm a Web writer, so you know I have an ego the size of the OED, and it's easily bruised when neglected. It needs love and attention.

Is that too much to freakin' ask?

OK, ok... the cards. In the spirit of my melancholy, I'll use the name of the wind, not the card. Deal with it.

I'm pouting

.

Anoiter

The worst of the winds for Constructed. Nine mana for twenty life? You've got to be joking. I don't even think this card is that good in Limited. If you can use it, great. But normally the game is decided when someone reaches nine mana. At least, mine are. Where this wind is most useful is in Multi-player. It seems every multi-player game has that wiseass with the gain-life-'till-the-game-drags-on-for-ten-hours-and-my-opponents-succume-t o- a-coma deck. Well, this card puts an end to that. There, take that, freak. Now taste the anger of my army of 'roided up squirrels. God, I love the smell of acorns in the morning. (See what melancholy does?)

Eliminator

This is the card in Prophecy most people want to break. I don't care what deck you're playing, losing seven cards is devastating. Unfortunately, you have to build a mana engine to cast it, and you might as well build a search engine to get it, so what's left? Never fear, though. If history has taught us anything, it's that if there's a will, and a broken card, there's a way.

Reaver

Destroy all my opponents creatures without the possibility of regeneration. For nine mana. For four mana, I can destroy all creatures. I'll be playing a different color, of course, but hey, you can't have everything. Black has bunches of more efficient elimination spells for Constructed. In Limited this is broken. But you already knew that.

Forger

Ok, for those people who've been living under a rock, or Savannah, GA, here's the skinny: this card does ten points of damage to target creature or player. Take a note of that: creature or player. This card kills me. Oh, I suppose you could Sear the Rancored BoP that's been kicking your butt for the last nine turns, but if that's happening you're deck sucks anyway. Thank God Jackal Pups are no longer in the set.

Exalter

Might of Oaks for all my creatures! Oh joy! Seriously, while this is a cool card, I don't see it being played much. Again, too much mana, even for green. This deck isn't fast enough for the current field and will be prohibitively slow come November. But people will make this deck anyway and will get to attack for 72. It's just gonna suck when I block them all with my 1/1's. Or just counter the damn thing. Remember, the discriminating player plays Blue.

Ten down, ten to go. Next up, the Spellshapers.

I'm going to bed and cry now. Hope your happy.

This is the excellence of execution and...

I'm out.
-t3


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Last Modified on Wednesday, 12-Jul-2000 22:14:58 EDT